Make me know Your ways, O LORD; Teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, For You are the God of my salvation; For You I wait all the day.
January 13, 2016- I woke up and started getting ready for work like any other day. Here I was, 11 weeks pregnant, and excited about the prospect of having my third child at the end of July. We had just announced the pregnancy to the world, as I was starting to look like I was doing more than just gaining weight. I had been very active the day before and noticed some spotting. While this concerned me, I made a mental note to take it a bit easier the rest of that week.
Three hours later, after my first class of the day, I noticed a lot more blood. I started to panic and frantically called my doctor’s office. They decided to have me come in immediately to be checked out. I vividly remember lying on that table in the doctor’s office praying for a heartbeat, a heartbeat that would never come. The next several days and weeks are now etched in my mind. Telling our families, my children, and the world that God’s plans had changed was one of the hardest things I have done. As I was struggling through this difficult time, I could hear God telling me that He was with me. I wasn’t angry; I trusted that He was going to carry me and my family.
Then the strangest thing happened, my husband told me that He felt God had been calling him to apply for the position of youth pastor at our church. We had been searching for a new student pastor for 6 months. John and I had been a large part of this process, interviewing potential candidates, working with the youth group in the interim, and praying that God would show us the right person. When we had first learned that our previous student pastor was stepping down, John had prayed about whether or not he was supposed to put himself up for consideration. I, being the anxiety driven worrier that I am, did not encourage him in this endeavor. I asked how it would work, what would we do, could he handle this. He decided that he was not supposed to do this job. After 6 months, and a devastating loss, we both knew that this was something we should look into.
God Calling a Pastor
After many nights of talking and praying, he applied, and then the next thing we knew he was the new student pastor. God worked out the details in ways that we never could have asked or imagined. We can look back at the past 8 years of our lives together and see times when we did not understand what was happening, but God was very much at work piecing it all together. He directed our paths, and now though we still miss the child that we lost, we know that God has a plan for us.