When I grow UP

I am 45 years old and I have finally decided what I want to be when I grow up!

Or maybe I should say what I want to be LIKE when I grow up. J

Let me explain….
I sometimes struggle with complaining. Sigh. Yes, I know God is in control and I know His plans for me are good. I know that I have daily access to His strength and His peace and His joy. I know all that stuff. But sometimes, in the middle of the day-to-day grind, I forget. There are times that I get overwhelmed with frustrations, to-do lists, problems, needs, etc, that my un-sanctified self shows through. And I complain. Or I worry. Or my thoughts are on a constant repeat of how to fix this or how to handle that. (You know…all of those things that we tend to do that really don’t help the problem at all.)
Why is it that I tend to forget about joy? Or trust? Why do I complain and worry rather than just getting down on my knees and letting Him handle it all?
Hello. My name is Joanna and I am a recovering complainer.

So back to what I want to be when I grow up…
A few days ago I was talking with a sweet lady at church. (Now this lady is not in good health. There are many days that she comes to church and is not feeling well at all. Yet, she’s faithfully there.) As I usually do, I asked her how she was feeling that day. And she smiled her beautiful smile and answered me in the way she typically does, “Oh, not great. But that’s ok.” As we talked for a few more minutes, I asked her about her ability to stay so positive, even when she is struggling with so many things. She said, “As a child, I was never allowed to complain. So it’s ok. It will be ok.”

I know God used that moment, and the sweet words from my friend, to remind me of my tendency to complain. And what is complaining really? Isn’t it just a form of a lack of trust? Isn’t it saying to God, “I think You should have done something different”?

Scripture tells us to do everything without complaining. (Philippians 2:14) Some versions use the words “grumbling” or “murmuring”. The Amplified Bible even says, “Do everything without murmuring or questioning [the providence of God].” Wow. Some days that’s tough!

So, when I grow up I want to be like my friend. And when I am asked if everything is ok, I want to be able to say, “Not really. But that’s ok.”

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say
It is well, it is well, with my soul

It is well
With my soul
It is well, it is well with my soul

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul

It is well (it is well)
With my soul (with my soul)
It is well, it is well with my soul

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