He Never Failed Me Yet

Last week, I picked my daughter up from preschool. While driving home I’m listening to her four-year-old ramblings about her day. As we pulled into our driveway to park, the ramblings culminated in a heartbroken and tearful voice telling me, “everyone in my class thinks I’m a dumb person!” To be perfectly honest with you, I’m raising a genius. She has trouble remembering what’s allowed and what’s not from time to time and that gets her into trouble, but she’s a genius. I’m biased, though. After more conversation kids_circlewith a slightly distraught drama princess (because let’s face it, I’m the drama queen…), I discovered not a single child or teacher had told her she was a dumb person. She had answered a question incorrectly during circle time and was disappointed with herself. She then proceeded to convince herself that because she had answered one question incorrectly, she was a dumb person. No one told her that; she told herself that.

It broke my heart.
We spent the next few hours together. We ate some dinner, played together, and she talked some more. We FaceTimed with Lovey and Adele shared her story with Lovey. And Lovey shared some wise Lovey-nuggets that were well-received. When it came to be bedtime I tucked Adele in and she asked me what she asks me every night (though for how many more nights, I’m not sure), “Mommy, will you cuddle me?” I laid down beside her for a few minutes and reminded her one more time that I loved her, told her  she was a beautiful and smart little girl and that she would never be a dumb person.
Self-DoubtAs I walked out of her bedroom that night I couldn’t help but be sad. I questioned whether there was any way I could’ve protected her from her own feelings of self doubt. Of course, there could have been a way to delay that feeling of self doubt, but she would have experienced it eventually. Maybe a year from now in kindergarten, if I had decided not to put her in preschool. But the pros of Pre-K far outweighed the cons (there was only one con, y’all). Had a messed up my child because I’d made this choice for her?
If there’s one thing all Moms are good at, it’s questioning our Mom abilities. I know I’m a good Mom. But I don’t always feel like a good Mom. I do know that I love my kid. I want what’s best for her. I will protect her from as many things that she needs to be protected from (without being a helicopter and ensuring she doesn’t grow up to feel entitled). And I want her to be a kid for as long as she can be, because adulting is not all it’s cracked up to be.
There’s a story in Matthew 19. Some parents brought their kids with them to see Jesus and the kids were irritating the disciples (that’s a slight embellishment…it just says the disciples scolded the parents). And you know what Jesus had to say about those babies? In verse 14 He said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.” (NLT) do you know what that says to me as a Mom? Jesus cares for babies, toddlers, preschoolers, kids, teenagers. And in turn he cares for the struggles Moms deal with on a daily basis. It also reminds me that we should have the simple faith of a child. Adele knows that I will always pick her up from school. She has faith in me because I have never failed her (at least not yet – I know someday I will suffer some drastic kind of Mom-failure according to my kid). In that respect, I know I can have 100% whole-hearted faith in Jesus. You know why? Because He never failed me yet (that’s a song lyric, by the way – YouTube it). And He never will.

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