Do I Need More?

Can you feel it? The allure, the pull of the New Year? A time of new beginnings, a time of possibilities. A time to look back, to evaluate, to reevaluate, to define, to label. A time to decide what to keep, what to reflections-architecture-buildthrow out and what we want more of. More time with God, more time with our families, more time for myself. More exercise, more personal discipline, more sleep. More. But, isn’t it alarming how quickly ‘more’ can become ‘not enough’. “I want to exercise more” is a good statement, but it can quickly turn in to ‘man, I’ve gained weight this year’, ‘I should be healthier’, ‘why can’t I loose weight’, and ‘I am not _____ (skinny, fit, healthy) enough’. You get the point. You can fill in the blank however you want.

This also affects our relationship with God. I need to study more, I need more alone time with God, can quickly become I am not doing enough. I am not disciplined enough. I am not sacrificing enough. I am not a good enough. Life can quickly become drudgery and a list of things I need to/should be doing.

joyYou know what I want more of? Joy. Simple joy. Do you remember it? The joy of a child twirling in abandon, head back, eyes closed, huge smile, escaping giggles. Joy. I want more joy. However, I am not convinced that joy comes by seeking more. We are all guilty of it. It is the American Way. We are working too much; we have too much stress, too little time. What do we say? “I need more (fill in the blank)”.

I don’t think joy comes from ‘more’. I think joy comes from ‘enough’. “I am good enough, I will enjoy what I am.” “I make mistakes, I will allow them, that is how I grow.” “I don’t always do the right thing. It’s okay, I will allow myself not to be perfect.”

“I need to spend more time with God.” This is a hard one. It sounds so…Christian. I am not convinced that God wants more of me. I think God just wants me. Me, with my faults, failures, foibles. Me. God wants me. God doesn’t want me to Do More, Be More. He just wants me.

Scripture is filled with this. John 1:12 tells me I am a child of God, Colossians 1:13-14 tells me I have been bought with a price and I belong to God. Colossians 2:9-10 tells me I am complete in Christ. Romans 8:1-2 tells me I am free from condemnation. Ephesians 2:10 tells me I am God’s workmanship, Philippians 4:13 tells me I can do all things through Christ, for He is my strength.

Christ gave up His life for me. Not because I am a failure, not because He thinks I can and should be MORE. Christ died for me because he loves me. Me, with all my faults, failures, and foibles. To Jesus, I am enough. Enough to sacrifice His life for. To God, I am enough. Enough to sacrifice His Son for. I am enough. This is where I find joy, not because I looked for it, worked for it, needed more. It has always been there. Sometimes, I just forget where to look.

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